the cycle-breaker quiz
relationship edition
figure out which phase of the cycle breaker journey you're in and what to do next
what's uppppp, big dog?
There’s something in you that knows there’s supposed to be more, yeah? More connection, more passion, more to this “love” thing.
Maybe your relationship feels more like a roommate situation than a romantic love.
Maybe you keep having the saaaame fight on repeat and you’re tired of it
Maybe things look fine from the outside but inside you feel disconnected, invisible, or just… kind of empty. Weird. Blah. A hard-to-explain distance between you and your person.
I’ve been there, dude. For reallll. I see you. And I know how…NOT GREAT that feels. And I believe something bigger than you guided you here for a reason!!
Here’s what I need you to know:
You deserve a f*ck yes kind of love. A relationship that lights you up.
To feel proud of how you love and are loved in return.
To know that you’re important af and to feel connected in an undeniable way. (You deserve spicy passion, too. Can’t leave that out!!)
But first, we gotta figure out 2 things.
Which phase of the cycle breaker journey you’re stuck in now
What’s keeping you from getting your relationship to the next level
Imagine typing a destination address into Google Maps without adding a starting location. That's what trying to "do the work" without acute self-awareness feels like.
✦ You cant get directions to the next level if you don't even know where you are now. ✦
Check every box that feels true, even if it’s only a liiiiiiittle true…even if you’d rather throw up than admit it to be true ;)
Oh…and you gotta be honest af as you go through this. Integrity is king.
Let's grow, babyyyyy ↓
full results + next steps:
Intentional self-assessment helps us not get lost in the abyss of “personal growth” and actually direct our energy towards what will move us closer to the relationship we want.
Below are your full results and some free resources to help you keep building, pushing, and growing. There's another level waiting for you and I’m grateful I get to walk with you towards it. ♡
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I’d venture to guess that part of you already knew you were looking away from what didn’t feel good or right.
Here's what I want you to do with this, though: don't scroll past it. Don't rationalize it away. Don’t continue to ignore what feels off. And for SURE don’t save it for later when you “have more time.”
Let this time be the time you ACTUALLY create positive change by taking action.
The sleepwalker phase is actually a really powerful place to be…because most people never catch it here. They stay comfortable, complacent, and wait until something forces them to change or grow. You went looking before everything fell apart. That's a v good sign, dear!!
Your next step isn't a big overhaul. It's just one thing: start getting curious. About your patterns. About what you actually want. About the gap between where you are and what that little nudge that made you take this quiz is pointing you toward.
I put together a free His + Hers starter kit for you. It’s the exact books, podcast episodes, and a 7-day experiment that were the beginning of that curiosity for me and Zachary. It's the right-sized next step for exactly where you are.
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With a name for it, please rest in the knowing that you're not spiraling or crazy or too much for wanting something different, more, better. Being a seeker means you also have the innate and most necessary piece to the puzzle: a willingness to accept new information. This is a V GOOD SIGN!!
You’re in a really specific phase with a really specific problem: so much awareness, not enough roadmap.
That's the thing about seeking, though. It can go on forever if you aren’t careful. Late-night Googling how to fix this and that and this and that…but still waking up in the same place…still struggling with the same problems and insufficiencies in your relationship.
This is because information alone doesn't move the needle. Action does.
And the best way I know to bridge that gap is to start somewhere concrete: with resources that gave me and Zachary an actual on-ramp instead of just more sh*t to think about. Less theory, more showing up different.
That's what the free jumpstart is for. His + Hers books, specific podcast episodes, and a 7-day experiment designed to get you out of your head and into actually creating something new.
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You're in the hardest phase of them all. Hugs and love to you, dear friend.
Because you're doing everything right and it's still not clicking the way you thought it would by now. That gap between effort and result is genuinely sooooooo frustrating…and tiring…and CONFUSING.
Here's what I know from being in it: the messy middle doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're close enough to the root that the old stuff is actually getting stirred up. That's doesn’t mean throw in the towel or start looking for a different path.
That's a sign that you’re THIIIIIS close to actually breaking through. It always gets bigger, messier, louder RIGHT before you level up.
So your next step is to keep going…but with fresh angles. Not more of the same old way. Zachary and I broke through this phase by revisiting our foundations, beliefs, and values with new eyes, not by adding more generic self-help bullshit to the pile.
The jumpstart I put together has the specific books and episodes that gave us new language for what we were stuck in…plus a 7-day experiment that helped us actually do something different instead of just understanding our problems better.
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You already know what you've created, healed, and grown through. I know you don't need me to recap it. You’re a badass!!
But, what I want to talk about is what's next…because this phase has a sneaky trap. Things are so much better than they were that it's easy to start coasting. To call it good. To stop doing the things that got you here and slowly drift back to autopilot, meh, disconnected, reactive, etc.
Don't do that.
The couples who go from good to genuinely extraordinary aren't the ones who worked the hardest in the hard seasons. They're the ones who kept going when things got good. When it felt optional. When the urgency was gone.
Your next step is depth, expansion, and sustainability. The jumpstart I put together is the specific stuff that helped me and Zachary go from repaired to actually thriving long term. Books, podcast episodes, and a 7-day experiment that hits different when you're not in crisis mode and can actually absorb it.