Energetic Signatures 101: How ES Work Changed My Life (and Will Change Yours Too)
(estimated reading time: 5 min)
Most people think being present means putting down your phone.
Cute. Not wrong. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. We do DEPTH ‘round here.
Real presence isn’t just where your eyes are or whether your hands are free. It’s the energy buzzing underneath it all.
There’s this invisible frequency that lives under your “I’m here” face. It’s in your breath, your tone, your nervous system, and your overall way of being.
It’s the same reason you can feel the negativity when you walk into a room right after people have been fighting.
And whether you realize it or not… that energy you carry is running the show.
That frequency is what I call your Energetic Signature (ES). And working with mine changed my f*cking life.
What Is an Energetic Signature?
Your ES is the felt sense of you.
It’s how it feels to be you, and just as importantly, how it feels to be around you.
It’s not something you can fake. You can say all the right words, smile at all the right times, and still broadcast tension, fear, or disconnection through your nervous system.
Why ES Work Is the Missing Piece
If you’ve ever:
Tried to “stay calm” but kept snapping
Tried to “be present” but still felt disconnected
Tried to “fix your relationship” but kept falling into the same loops
Tried a parenting script but your kid still lost their sh*t
…you’ve felt what happens when your behavior changes, but your energy doesn’t.
When your ES isn’t aligned with the change you’re trying to make, your nervous system is still tuned to the old frequency. You might speak differently, but you’re still broadcasting the same old sh*t.
That’s why things don’t stick.
You can’t just repaint the walls if the wiring inside the walls is f*cked up. It won’t make the lights work. (Idk, just roll with it okay? LOL)
Enter: Your Energetic Parenting Signature™ (EPS)
Now, take the idea of your overall ES… and plop it into your parenting.
Your Energetic Parenting Signature™ is the specific kind of energy your children experience in your presence every single day.
It’s what teaches them, without a single spoken “lesson,” it’s how safe they feel, how they see themselves, and it’s what determines how they will eventually relate to the world. Big work, huh?
This is the part that blows people’s minds:
Your EPS has more influence on your child’s long-term well-being than any script, method, or discipline tool.
Because your kids are living inside your energy.
Every nervous system flare, every ounce of grounded love, every subtle shift in your tone…they feel it. Kids are attuned as f*ck.
The 4 Most Common Types of Energetic Parenting Signatures
Most of us weren’t taught to think about let alone work intentionally with our energy, so we tend to default to one of these EPS “modes.” None of them are “you forever,” but knowing your go-to pattern is a great start. Here are a few within the framework I’ve developed:
Tense Reactor (nervous system fire-alarm)
Checked Out Drifter (absent/disconnected)
People Pleasing Overfunctioner (self-abandoning)
Heavy Handed Controller (dominating/conditional)
Victimized Martyr (self-sacrificing, burdened sufferer)
1. The Tense Reactor
Your body and tone are tight, even when your words are calm. You’re quick to startle, snap, or shut down when things feel out of control.
What kids feel:
“I have to manage myself to keep Mom okay.”
They become hyper-aware of other people’s moods.
Growth edge:
Learning to slow your nervous system before responding.
2. The Checked-Out Drifter
You’re physically there but mentally somewhere else. Maybe you’re replaying a fight, scrolling, or just numbing out in general.
What kids feel:
“I have to get louder or act out to get noticed.”
“I’m not interesting enough to hold attention.”
Growth edge:
Reconnecting with your body and senses, even in tiny doses.
3. The People-Pleasing Overfunctioner
You’re endlessly accommodating…meeting every need but your own. Your smile says “I’m fine” even when you’re running on fumes.
What kids feel:
“It’s my job to keep others happy.”
They may learn to hide or shrink their own needs.
Growth edge:
Letting your energy communicate self-respect and boundaries.
4. The Heavy Handed Controller
You carry an undercurrent of “my way or else.” You might not yell, but your presence feels heavy, expectant, and hard to please. Rules and order come first, even over connection.
What kids feel:
“I have to perform or I’ll disappoint.”
“Love is conditional.”
They may become perfectionistic or rebellious to cope.
Growth edge:
Softening control into connection, letting your energy say, “We can handle this together.”
5. The Victimized Martyr
You carry an energy of helplessness or “why me.” You may sigh a lot, vent about how hard things are, or subtly communicate that you’re trapped and powerless. Even if you don’t say it outright, your kids feel it.
What kids feel:
“I’m a burden.”
“Love looks like sacrifice and suffering.”
They may grow up feeling guilty for having needs or dreams.
Growth edge:
Reclaiming your power by shifting from “I can’t” to “I choose.” Let your energy show your kids that responsibility and agency are freeing, not crushing.
Then, there’s another EPS.
The Grounded Anchor (what we build towards in my world)
Your body is steady, your tone is warm, and your presence says “I’m here, you’re safe.” You lead with calm confidence, even in chaos. You’ve developed your energetic sovereignty.
What kids feel:
“I can relax. I’m safe to be myself.”
They model your regulation as their own.
Growth edge:
Protecting your energy so you can keep showing up this way.
My ES Story
Over the past 7 years, committing to the identity of “cycle breaker” by working with my ES has helped me heal, grow, and transform into someone old me wouldn’t even recognize. I was able to…
overcome debilitating depression and anxiety
find confidence I didn’t know was possible
shed my “people pleaser” decision making filter
gained intuitive access to my purpose (and developed a belief in myself and my gifts big enough to actually work inside that purpose!!)
rid myself of the victim mentality (life is happening for me, not TO me)
built a relationship that feels makes me feel safe, passionate, and alive (rawr)
and I build on fulfilling connections with all 4 of my little ones every day (instead of checking out because it’s too hard to hold it all)
Put simply, ES work brought me home to myself.
And without it I’d still be seeking external validation to prove my worth, doubting my intuition, and running on fumes. I’d still feel unfulfilled, confused, and honestly, angry about how my life was turning out.
How to Start Shifting Your ES (and EPS)
You don’t change your energetic signature by force, surface level mindset work, or learning new scripts. You change it by practicing presence that’s not just physical, it’s nervous-system-deep. Energeticcccc!!!!
That’s exactly what The Presence Blueprint is designed to do.
Through 5 small daily anchors, you’ll learn to:
Read your own energy before it runs the show
Create a parenting presence that feels safe and steady for your kids
Lead your relationships from grounded clarity instead of autopilot
The changes you’re longing for aren’t born in doing more or trying harder.
They’re born in tuning your inner frequency to match the love, connection, and powerful energetic self-leadership you’re craving. So, get back to TPB and let’s do this, babe.